The Lemange

By Dylan S. Whittaker

In Malawi some Africans were growing fruits; in some fields apples were being grown, in other fields there were oranges and limes, and in other parts of the country grapes and lemons. One day a foolish worker, called Arganout, accidently mixed up lemon seeds with orange seeds. At first the seed decided not to grow but eventually a leaf grew out of the ground. Amazingly the sunlight shone on the leaf and a glow appeared around it, then the stem shot out of the earth and grew three orange coloured lemons. The worker decided to eat the orange coloured lemon as he was famished. He tried it but it tasted foul. He looked up at the hillside and saw a house had just appeared and he was realised he was holding a shiny key in his hand. It was the key to the house; the lemons he had grown must have been magic lemons. All his life he had wished for his very own house.

The Honourable George G Grouse-Bose

By Dylan S. Whittaker

I awoke to find myself on a boat. It was a small tatty, boat, only big enough for two people, but I was the only one on it, me and a large bottle of Evian water. I preferred Evian to Highland Spring but I would rather have had a bottle of Perrier.

My name is The Hon George G Grouse-Bose. I am 20 years of age and at Oxford University studying astro-physics. I once appeared on 'University Challenge' and my team were one point from a perfect score but my idiotic team mate forgot the formula for Zinc Sulphate Monohydrate, (ZnSO⁴ H²O). How stupid can one be?

The Book

By Dylan S. Whittaker

"Get him!" they shouted, "Don't let him get away!"
Harry was in big trouble now.
He had stolen a book from the Library.

When Will You Die?

By Dylan S. Whittaker

"GET ON THE FLOOR," they shouted, "YOU'RE ALL HOSTAGES"

'Mmmm. Happy Birthday to me', thought Martin. Today was Martin's 23^rd Birthday, October 27^th. His room-mate Owen had woken him that morning singing 'Happy Birthday' and they had followed that with a treat of bacon sarnies while Owen gave him his present. He also received some cheques in the post and decided to go to the bank to give his account a much needed boost of funds.